Knowing how to ask for a spot in the gym is a great skill and can really help your workouts.  However, outside of hiring a professional trainer to work with you every workout, the best thing you can do for your workouts  is to find a regular workout partner.  This is someone who would show up every workout to train with you.

Having a regular workout partner is a great motivator and can take your workouts to the next level.  Alternating sets with someone can actually keep your workouts moving faster, plus there is a lot of motivation that comes from seeing your gym mate working hard and moving a lot of weight.  This motivates you to train harder and stay focused.  Best of all, this gives you a built-in spotter, and means that you’re almost guaranteed to lift heavier since you have someone to watch you on every set and help you finish those difficult last reps.

What may be the best benefit is that you are sure to always show up and never miss a workout if you know that someone is waiting for you.  You’re also more likely to show up on time and finish on time with a preset schedule.

So how do you find a good workout partner?  Almost all of my best workout partners have simply developed from someone I saw regularly in the gym and who I had asked to spot me in the past.  By showing up at the gym at basically the same time each day I got to know a collection of other gym members who were also there at the same time.

I simply ask someone if they want to share a workout sometime and we plan to work a certain body part on a certain day.  Of course, I try to find someone who seems to have a similar gym philosophy and work ethic to mine so that we are “on the same page” with our workouts and goals.  Then if the first few workouts are successful this might develop into a regular partnership that benefits both parties and helps both make better progress in the gym.

There was a tragic shooting in my city recently where a very stressed man walked into his former business and opened fire.  After the initial reaction of sadness and disbelief, my next thought was “This man needs to get to the gym!”

No I did not see a picture of an out-of-shape felon, but I just knew that this man was not managing his stress well.  The world can often seem crazy and we see examples all around us of fellow citizens stressed out to the max.  Frowning faces, impatient drivers, angry parents, they are everywhere.

I think that everyone needs to channel this stress into something productive, and my suggestion is to get to the gym!  Working out has been my number one stress reducer for most of my life.  Whenever I’m feeling stressed out or challenged by something, I find my best therapy is to go to the gym and move some iron!  When I was teaching I had days when I wanted to strangle a student or, more likely, body slam a clueless parent.  Instead I found myself in the gym that night benching 225 for reps and putting that aggression and stress into building a better body.

Everyone should find their own “safe channel.”  It doesn’t matter if you do hours of yoga, play tennis, or do some power-knitting, just find something you enjoy that also has a productive side.  I’ve seen some housewives do some serious “power-cleaning” and I’ve seen surgeons kick-box their way to equilibrium.  Even our President Barack Obama spends time in the gym or on the basketball court to keep himself centered and focused, channeling his extra stress and energy in a productive way.

I’m a huge believer in using the gym to manage stress.  The sheer physicality of moving your body is a great way to productively channel excess energy.  It produces results which are good for you, improves your self-esteem, makes you stronger, and makes you feel better.  And there’s just something about grabbing that iron and steel and pushing it around that feels “right” as a stress buster.

We may not be able to eliminate all of the world’s problems, but we CAN make sure we are not ONE of them.  Serve as a good example and channel your stress into a productive workout.

So you’ve decided you need a spotter on an exercise to keep yourself safe and to allow you to accomplish a couple of extra reps.

So how do you know WHO to ask for a spot?  On the day I need a spot I watch the other gym members and I identify those who seem to know what they are doing.  They are typically using correct form on their exercises, and they usually are in great shape and have some muscle on them as well.  If you spot a super hard core bodybuilder who has his headphones on and is keeping to himself and really into his workout, leave this guy alone.  But plenty of other gym rats will be giving others eye contact and willing to help.

Typically find someone in your area, working out very near by.  When they complete a set and are resting, simply ask them for some help.  If they seem busy you might ask someone else on your next set, but often people will smile and willingly help, and even tell you to let them know if you need help again.

There’s always a bit of a crap shoot here as not everyone has been taught correct spotting technique, and occasionally I will give a quick explanation of how I want them to spot me on the particular exercise I’m doing.  For example, I might ask them to give me a “lift off” of the bar, or say something like “only help me if the bar stops moving” or “my main concern is that I get the bar racked again safely…”  By saying this you give them a heads up on your main focus for their help, and might clue someone in to how you want them to spot you.

Make sure and thank them for their help.  They did take time away from their own workout to help you.  And if they did a good job, ask them again if you need it and they seem amenable.

One of the real benefits of becoming a “regular” at your gym is that you start to know people and see them day after day.  This gives you a stable of good spotters in your arsenal that you can draw from in the future to help you out.  Once you help them, and they help you a few times, it’s much easier to approach them again for help another day.  I try to build these relationships even on days when I’m not needing a spotter by saying hello and letting them know that I’m happy to help them out should they need a spot.  This is really just being a good “gym citizen” and it makes for an improved gym atmosphere and friendlier space to be in.

There’s a great feeling of community and “belonging” that comes with being a part of the gym family.  When you become comfortable in your home gym you’ll get to know some people or even just smile and nod to the “regulars.”  Even if you never speak to anyone or don’t know their names, you still belong in this space and it’s one of your “life places.”

There are certain exercises in the gym where you need someone to watch you, to give you a “spot” on the exercise.  Giving someone a spot means that you stand behind them as they do the exercise and are there to assist them if they start to struggle, help them complete the repetition, or just to make sure they are safe and won’t hurt themselves.

Many times I see gym members training alone who struggle tremendously to finish that last rep.  Not only do I worry that they might hurt themselves if they don’t accomplish the exercise, but I also know that they could likely complete another rep or two if they had someone watching them.  There is a sense of confidence that comes from having someone “watch your back” to keep you safe.  Plus we are all more likely to go for that “one more rep” that we would otherwise not attempt if alone.

It is my firm belief that these extra reps that we struggle with are the very ones that make us grow.  It’s these hardest final repetitions that task the muscle and convince it that it must grow larger and stronger if it’s going to be challenged in this way.

After 30-plus years in the gym I know for sure that most other gym members are happy to help out and give you a spot if you ask.   Besides, it’s likely that they will want you to reciprocate and help them out sometime also.  How to do it?  Just ask if they can give you a spot, and mention that you don’t want to interrupt their workout so if they can’t stop right now that’s fine…..  That way they have the option to beg off if they really can’t help you, though this is rarely the case.  Then move quickly into the exercise and then make sure and thank them for their help.

We all want to get as much out of every workout as we can, so take the initiative to ask for a spot.   Keep yourself safe and get those extra reps.  You’ll make some friends in the gym, increase your sense of “belonging,” and make better progress!

Working out really is the Fountain of Youth.  Numerous studies show that resistance training is a great way to keep the body strong inside and out.  As “60 becomes the new 40,” we’re learning that the benefits of exercise are tremendous.

Frank Zane, Age 64

Most people get into trouble because they stop moving.  I firmly believe that it’s this lack of motion, lack of using the body, that causes many of the problems we face as we age.  It doesn’t require Herculean effort to simply get out and walk, if not get into the gym to move some weights.  But it IS work.

Looking good and staying in shape is hard work, and it gets harder the older we get.  But we HAVE to do it.  We need to learn good habits and LIVE the fitness lifestyle.  Then we will automatically keep moving, make smart choices in fueling our body, and get enough rest to recover and stay healthy.

As I get older I find great inspiration in older athletes who have been successful and remain strong and energetic.  These pictures of Frank Zane and Dave Draper attest to what is possible with hard work and diligence.  Of course, not everyone can or needs to achieve this level of fitness, but these amazing men are  great role models to motivate and inspire us.

In the sport of bodybuilding, unlike many other sports, being older can be a real advantage.  The more years you have in the gym the more “muscle maturity” your physique will have.  This makes the muscles more dense and full and appealing.  Many of the top bodybuilders in the world are in their 40’s, even 50’s.  I’ve seen bodybuilding competitors on stage at contests in their 70’s, 80’s, even 90’s!  With smart training and diligence one can stay in the gym and keep making progress for years to come.

The amazing Dave Draper, Then and Now...at Age 63

Every gym has those older members who look great.  Even in my late 40’s I get comments from younger members about “how good I look for my age.”  I’m trying to embrace this role and stay motivated to look great no matter my age.   Keep working hard, stay consistent, be patient with yourself (as your recover more slowly and face limitations) and stay proud to be showing the world what’s possible, no matter your age!

Everyone loves compliments.  They can be a sign that we’re on the right track, and it’s great to know that people are appreciating what we are doing.   Receiving a compliment can be a great motivator and validation for our hard work.

Some people have a hard time reacting to compliments, especially if they are not in the habit of receiving them.  If you feel awkward, just smile and say “Thank you.”  Try to avoid the self-deprecating “On no, I don’t really look that good…” routine.  Just accept the compliment and try to take it in.

I find I’m surprised when someone will suddenly stop me to comment on how I look.   Just this weekend an older gentlemen stopped me and said something about “all the hard work I’ve done in the gym.”  Then he complimented me and told me to keep working hard.  This was so “out of the blue” that I was really flattered that he took the initiative to say something.  This also reminded me that I need to speak up more often to let others know how good they look.  I find this matters the most in the gym when fellow gym rats are working hard and making obvious improvements.  They always appreciate a kind word of encouragement.  We’re all so hard on ourselves that we need to hear good things more often.  And that spontaneous smile that follows a compliment is a great reward for the one giving it also.

When you first start to change your physique it can be really exciting to see the reactions of family and friends.  You’ll be hearing how great you look all the time and receiving compliment wherever you go.  This is great, as you need this motivation to keep on track.

However, you’ll probably find that as time goes on and your terrific new body becomes something everyone is used to seeing, then the compliments will begin to appear less often.  Everyone is used to seeing you as a fit, in-shape person, and the dramatic change is no longer so apparent.  Of course, ultimately this is a good thing, but the compliments can start to be missed.  At this point  you have to be more self-motivating.

When I first made really dramatic changes to my body I was hearing about it all the time.  Now that this is just the way I look, it’s rare to hear about it much at all.   Of course, now the fun comes when someone happens to see a picture of the “old me” from back in the day.  Then the conversation turns into one of disbelief.  This can be a type of compliment, but sometimes it just reminds me of how I used to look and the bad feelings that came with it.

Monitoring these feelings and reactions can take some real work, but it’s important to keep it all in perspective and just enjoy the compliments when they happen.  People usually mean well and are trying to be nice.  Thank them, and then keep moving forward toward your goals.